Dear Classmates,
I’m surprised at how much I’m thinking about our upcoming (50th!!!) reunion. Except for an occasional encounter, I haven’t really seen people from the old days, despite the fact that I live in Denver. When I went away to college I pretty much left Denver behind and didn’t maintain connections with high school folk. When I came back after college to start grad school, it didn’t occur to me to seek out people I’d known before and I started over with new relationships.
Yet, I feel a strong attachment to the people and experiences of my school years. I’ve enjoyed becoming Facebook friends with some classmates and had some wonderful messenger exchanges with a couple of folks. The memories of people and moments from the old days are vivid and when I reach inside myself to find “Me”, those memories are right there.
As I reflect on my growing up and my school years, what I realize is that I always thought that other people mattered a whole lot more to me than I did to them. I assumed that I wasn’t significant to other people and that I didn’t really have a place among my peers. So, it didn’t occur to me to pursue or develop relationships with people I grew up with. I took it for granted that once I was out of sight, I was out of mind for everyone I’d grown up with.
What I know now is that that’s on me, not on anyone else. It’s no one’s fault that I minimized myself so much. It was my own issue. I didn’t know how to be present in my own life as a kid. I didn’t have the modeling or the skills to have a sense of myself. I didn’t know that I could show up in the world and believe in myself. I didn’t know how to claim myself.
I have had an awesome life. There have been some really hard things, but a whole lot of fabulous things. Thanks to coming of age during the Women’s Movement and having the excellent good fortune of stumbling into a Women’s Consciousness Group in 1974 (the 12 of us still meet!), I have been able to define my own self and not remain constrained by my childhood programming. Thanks to my privilege, great opportunities, a wonderful life partner, other strong loving people, and some good instincts on my part, I made life choices that took my life in a great direction. I’ve been able to make use of some of the opportunities that have been embedded in the tragedies and hardships of my life. I’ve learned how to embody myself and show up most of the time.
As I think about the reunion, two concerns come up for me. The first is a worry that I will revert to the intimidated super self-conscious little girl version of Helen and fail to be fully present with you all. I don’t want to count myself out the way I did so often as a kid. The other concern is that those of us who come will miss the amazing opportunity this reunion presents to us as an age cohort. We are such a resource for one another, and I worry that we won’t take full advantage.
So, I would like to put this invitation out to you, my fellow classmates. As we catch up, I’d love to hear about your careers, children and adventures. And I’d also like to delve a bit deeper, if you’re willing. I’d love to know what some of your challenges have been, how you’ve been tested, what gives you joy, and what really matters to you now. I’m curious to learn how you’ve navigated the difficulties of life and what has enabled you to thrive. Can we make this reunion a time to have fun and to celebrate our lives as well as an opportunity to learn something about our generation, our place in history and who we are?
I grieve for those who have passed and will not be able to join us next month. And I wish that more of our classmates would have the ability to come. To those who will be there, I look forward to seeing you. I want you all to know that I appreciate you and the experiences we shared in our youth. I look forward to tapping into the life experiences and wisdom that you will bring with you and to gaining perspective as a result. We grew up in a time of big changes and we have all navigated a variety of challenges. I think we are a pretty kick-ass generation! We live now in difficult and complicated times. I don’t know about you, but I often feel overwhelmed and discouraged. I am eager to learn about and from you all.
With love,
Helen Hand
Helen nice to read your “Looking Forward” letter. This will be my first class reunion. Looking forward to seeing people I went to school with. I was pretty much in a daze throughout my high school years. I didn’t make contact with many and never stayed in contact with the ones I did know.
My life was very different than most everyone else’s. GW was not my school of choice and wasn’t where all my JR high school friends were going. So being such an introvert I had a pretty isolated existence.
My senior year I went and got myself pregnant. The boy I was dating wanted to marry me. So on March 14th 1969 we tied the knot. I am sure I put one in the history books at GW. “The First Student Pregnant and Married.”
We stayed married for almost 40 years. We had two children and lived a marriage that worked. Nothing real glamorous but we were a team. Sadly he passed one month shy of our 40th anniversary. He still has that special place in my heart.
So many events we have all experienced in the 50 years we’ve been gone. Some happy and some sad. I feel every day brings new challenges and new happenings. I look forward to seeing people I may of passed through the halls or maybe had a class with. We are all different now and the years have passed quickly. I know my 50 years have changed who I was those 3 years I walked the halls. Life has a way with changing people. As Helen mentioned we live in a different world. I feel for our teachers and students and the fear they must face just going to school.
This gives you a little insight about who I am. Of course I only skinned the surface. 50 years has a lot of living experiences.
Lida–I am so pleased that you are coming to the reunion. Thank you for letting us know about you and a little bit about your life. It’s good to think that we can all show up differently now than we did in high school. I’ll look for you at the reunion.
Thanks Helen. Looking forward to seeing you soon.
Beautiful.
Well, that was just lovely, dear Helen. I appreciated you then, and appreciate you now. Looking forward to giving you a hug in person.
That will be wonderful!
Helen I am delighted that we were able to connect in the past month after reading your blog. Your grace and commitment to advocacy for what is right for all, is the legacy you continue to build.
Though I won’t be at the reunion, I am looking forward to staying in touch and visiting at a later date.
Love,
Jeanne
Sandra, it will be wonderful to see you!!!
Hi Helen,
Great letter. Looking forward to seeing you after 50 years. I am guessing that there will not be enough time to really catch up with what everyone has been up to all of these years, but I will certainly give it my best shot. I don’t know if you remember this, but my cousin, Richard Zuckerman, begged me to introduce him to you – he was too shy to approach you himself, but I can’t recall whether I made the introduction or not.
Love, David Z.
It will be great to see you, David. Yes, Richard and I dated quite a bit my junior year. I saw him again in my early 20’s. Please say hi to him for me.
Great commentary. Thank you for putting it out there. I look forward to being there.
Great article! I feel the same way. I had a retail sporting goods store in Denver for 36 years. Several classmates were customers but I didn’t take the opportunity to really connect with them. I envy those whose best friends to this day are their HS friends. I can’t believe how long the list is of who I want to see at the reunion.
Helen,
You’re feelings mirror my own. I left Denver in 1992 and never looked back. I found that with maturity comes stronger friendships. I no longer try to adjust my personality to fit in with others. I now have fewer friends but my friendships are stronger. I chose not to attend the reunion because I have no curiosity about friends from my past. This may sound harsh but it is the truth. I wish you and the rest of the class of 69 the best.
Last summer Anita and I made a pact that we would attend this reunion and talk our old friends into attending as well. And it is happening. I’m also thinking ahead in anticipation. Most of the people I will see I haven’t seen in 50 years. Some more recently. Can’t wait to see my buddies from the madrigal group and choir. Sadly, one is no longer with us. From my French classes and my English classes. I can’t wait to see the friends whose homes I walked to and with whom I had such fun. Lots of laughing. Chris O’Neal – can’t wait. Bruce Dickinson – can’t wait. Anita, Sharon, Becky, Ruth, Judy – can’t wait. It will be interesting to pull our lives out of the trunk and share them again.
Helen, During our days in school, I always thought you were a lovely person. I have only seen a handful of our classmates over these past 50 years. But, over the past 2-3 years, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed connecting with some through facebook. I imagine all of us could write a novel about everything that has transpired over the past 50 years. Good times, difficult times, happy times and sad times. There is no way I would miss this reunion, and look so forward to seeing you along with so many others. It will be absolutely wonderful to reconnect. We are fortunate, Helen, that so many of our classmates are supporting and attending the reunion. I can hardly wait! See you soon. Jerry
Jane,
I’m interested to see if you remember me. I did not graduate with our class in 1969. My dad was in the Air Force & I moved away for our senior year. I do, however, remember you and many others for our Sophomore and Junior years at GW. Those memories are positive & warm.
I’ve been in touch with Anita, Chris O’Neal and Gene Wright as well as Judy (York) Penetti but cannot attend the reunion. Anyway, when I saw your name and comments here, I thought I would say hello. Anita & I have at least a tentative plan to try to get together in Boston after Labor Day since I live in New Hampshire and she in Boston. I look forward to that.
I know that Chris and Anita look forward to seeing you at the reunion. I’m sure that you all look forward to a great time seeing each other. At any rate, I wish you the best time at this gathering & in your future years.
My Very Best Regards,
Mike Jackson
(Do You Remember Me?)
Wonderful thoughts, Helen. Thanks for sharing what many of us are thinking.
Fantastic, Helen! You have always been so thoughtful and insightful. For many reasons, your class was always my favorite!
Bruce, how kind of you! It would be lovely to catch up a little.
Thank you, Helen, for putting many of my feelings into words to share. I was very hesitant to attend this reunion then realized we are all different now. Most of us have all had tragedies and triumphs which have formed who we are now.
I am so fortunate to have found a great man with whom I have spent the last 44 years. We have 4 beautiful, healthy daughters who all have families of their own.
As it turns out, I am now unable to attend the reunion because our presence is requested in court September 13 regarding the safety of our granddaughter with the live-in girl friend of our daughters ex husband. Life does get complicated, but I feel the mother bear in me wanting to protect my grandchildren as fiercely as I tried to protect my children.
Have fun everyone and I look forward to seeing pictures on Facebook.
Thank you, Helen, for putting many of my feelings into words to share. I was very hesitant to attend this reunion then realized we are all different now. Most of us have all had tragedies and triumphs which have formed who we are now.
I am so fortunate to have found a great man with whom I have spent the last 44 years. We have 4 beautiful, healthy daughters who all have families of their own.
As it turns out, I am now unable to attend the reunion because our presence is requested in court September 13 regarding the safety of our granddaughter with the live-in girl friend of our daughters ex husband. Life does get complicated, but I feel the mother bear in me wanting to protect my grandchildren as fiercely as I tried to protect my children.
Have fun everyone and I look forward to seeing pictures on Facebook.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Michele. My memories of you are filled with your laughter and kindness. I appreciate your honesty as we find that the path in life is filled with hills and valleys.
My best to you and your family.
Jeanne Kleinman Williams
I had my first reunion dream last night.
In the dream I came to the Friday night event wearing a knit hat and was self-conscious that I now had “hat head” and wouldn’t be able to take it off. Then several guys (all still looking 18) were sitting in rows, all wearing the same blazers and sweater vests and not being very friendly. I thought to myself, “Hmmm, how’d they all know what to wear? How did I miss out?” Not to hard to interpret this one, right?
Anyone else having dreams?
What a fabulous reflection, Helen! I remember you fondly from both High School and church. I look forward to catching up next week.
Chris O’Neal
Chris, it will be great to see you. A lot of history!
Helen,
Thanks for the thoughtful essay. Like you, I wasn’t much in touch with myself or most of the school happenings either, so sometimes I feel like the reunions are a chance to have a do-over!
In spite of not having participated much in school life, I do have vivid memories of time at GW and when I look through the yearbook what I see is faces in the hallway and classmates from specific courses; I hear the sound of familiar voices, admonitions from a teacher to “get busy.” It all combines into a memory whirl at times but it was who I was and I wouldn’t have missed it.
I was fortunate to have built friendships with about a dozen other guys from our class and those have continued. We always have our own mini-reunion on the Saturday afternoon before the dinner and we do try to stay in touch between reunions, though we have at times been states and even countries apart. It has been a great blessing to me to share the lives of those (now a bit older!) guys.
Thanks again.
Helen, Thank you. I’m just now catching up, getting ready for our upcoming weekend. Life’s card deck has dealt many challenges and many rewards the past 50 years, I know we all wear them as well as we can. I look forward to seeing everyone this Friday and Saturday.
First I’ll extend my appreciation to the volunteer committee for all your hard work and to those who’ve posted their thoughts here. The photos are terrific: nobody looks any different. Not one bit,. You’re all as young as ever, as am I.
I’ve been moved by the posts here, and I resonate to Helen’s description of the feelings of an ex-pat Patriot returning after half a century. I left Colorado in 1975 for graduate school and moved around (Amherst , Chicago, Milwaukee) before settling in central Texas. I’ve been on the faculty of the psychology department at Texas A&M for, uh, decades. My wife and I established a multi-speciality group practice in mental health here which we are handing off to younger colleagues. We have three sons scattered around the country and are trying to flesh out the plans for the next chapter of our lives.
With all that moving around I missed hearing about some of the previous reunions, but I was also ambivalent about attending, for all the usual reasons that makes for hesitation. People who have moved away from hometown talk about whether they really want to see “those people” as if, having individuated into autonomous adults, we no longer have much in common with our cohort. That’s disingenuous, or at least its not the whole story. For my part the apprehension would not be about seeing everybody else, but rather at being reminded of who I was—was trying to become—back in 1969. To glean some sense, tempered by years and (one hopes) maturity, just how I was perceived by others back when my self perception was by definition uncertain and unreliable. To interact with all of you now raises the possiblity that I’d find out how you might have seen me then. (Or whether you even have memories of me; it’s been a long time.) Hence the hesitation.
I had mostly resolved that ambivalence by the time the last reunion had rolled around and could imagine meeting reflections of my high school identity without a need to cringe or blush. Unfortunately the event conflicted with a prior obligation and I did not attend. This year I hurried to get this weekend reserved into my calendar and I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all for several months, carefully safeguarding the 13th from capture by less worthy plans.
Unfortunately I’m being called away to help a close friend get through a very tough time and I am again stuck in exile. I hope that this website stays active. It is a great (re)unifier.
Thanks again to all
Brian, what a wonderful post!. You hit the nail on the head, for me at least, about the apprehension not being about seeing the folks from the past, but about being taken back to the sense of self I had back then.
I’m so sorry that you won’t be able to come to this reunion. It sounds like you’ve had a rich life and that you have strong connections. Well done!
Hello Hellen,
A serendipitous encounter with Maralyn at Mercury Cafe in June sparked a notion to crash the GW69 reception while in Denver for TJ69, to reconnect and connect the roots of MC, DFU and Rancho Durazno in Palisade. Wiser to fully attend to the opportunity to connect with TJ classmates. I wish you all the best of being awake in our times.
Helen, it was a joy to see and talk with you. I just re-read your concern about being taken back to being the person with social worries you were in high school. Did you find it to be true in reality? We spoke only briefly and I found you to be so gracious and poised. I wish we had known each other better and that we had been in a quieter, more relaxed place during the reunion. At any rate, I enjoyed seeing you very much.